Forever Violet
by ThePhantomsFlutist
Summary: Violet Sharpe, a 200-year-old vampire trapped in the body of a sixteen-year-old girl. Her life, in the literal sense, so far sucks. Revenge and hatred is sweet in her mind, but she is yet to find solace. Can she find hope in an illegal human?
1. Chapter 1

_Forever Violet_

_Prologue_

I've been thinking of taking note of my experiences for a while now. There's just so much I want to say now, so much I would like to do, my mind can't seem to keep note of it. I can relive some of these moments, and the others, well, I just can't bare. I thought perhaps writing my life down onto paper, it would stop bothering me as if I could throw it all away and burn the pieces. Just wondering if these words get to any other hand besides one, I don't know what will happen to me now, what hasn't already been done.. I'm not sure I'd like to put any other innocent person in the deep thoughts of my mind, but then again, maybe someone would want to know. I will just warn whoever is reading this beforehand, that I am... not your average creature. If there's one thing I left of my long life, it is that. People get used to it, and hopefully, you will too.

I think the best part of writing this on the computer _and_ on paper in some parts is that you can't see me, therefore you're not distracted. I must as well warn you that this story you are about to read, if you are tempting to read it, does not have a happy ending. If you enjoy romances, turn back now. If you enjoy fairy princesses that ride off into sunsets with their prince charming and live happily ever after, until death do they part... Well, there may be a fair share of death, but in most cases, they never actually part. I believe the wedding vows don't specify how long after you're dead, that they part, or if they're even truly dead. Which is how and why I never got married. But anyway, I don't want you to turn around just yet because I'm actually speaking of death, and you're wondering why I speak of an afterlife.

You could think it's a sob story, love that could never, ever be. A story on my loss, punishment, and selfish longing. It will take up a lot of space in the small room I have here, the clutter of paper. I also thought of recording it, but nobody would want to listen. My voice is too much of a mask... not that paper is any better. You may also think I'm... dark. Well, it's understandable, I can see how you think of that, where you're coming from. But trust me, I'm not the worst there is. I just think if I could be able to tell my story to at least _one _other person besides my sister, I'm not insane after all.

My story begins, if you're already tired of my constant thoughts spewing out on paper, on a slightly morbid note. I want to keep track of my life for this one reason overall--to make sure I still am what I've been for a very long time because, at the moment, I'm not entirely sure who or what I am... metaphorically at least.

I begin in an unexpected time, 1815, to be exact. The year of my sixteenth birthday. Yes, that's a little strange, but please don't put down this paper just yet. I don't sound like a sixteen-year-old, but that's what I am, physically, at least. I'll give you some of some my basic information before I explain any more. I was born in Liverpool, England, just near the ocean in 1799. I was brought up as a good-natured young Catholic girl who charmed the many guests that would come to my mansion. With curly brown hair and brown eyes, often with a bonnet tied to my head and a big smile printed on my face as if it was completely natural. I went to mass every Sunday as was my duty, and was groomed by her mother, as any girl my age of fourteen, for a husband. My family later moved to the city of London because my father received a very large banking job that would cause my family to strive overwhelmingly. But, a very harsh disease that wasn't heard of in my time, and in most cases, incurable had struck my mother.

My mother was my only friend... I loved her so when she played with my hair, put it into pretty buns, and brought home beautifully designed dresses. She was the one to first think of giving me voice lessons when I was twelve. And since then, I was seduced with music, if it was the only thing I knew. My mother brought in vocal teachers from all over the opera world, that taught me many languages, and many accents in order to sing those languages. Most of all Italian and French, but French not used quite so much. Evidently English was too under-powered, and we can't sing French because it's too much of a "pure" language and English is not... but anyway... I learned how to play piano by thirteen and I dazzled my mother with the many pieces of music I would play for her.

And even in her death bed, I engaged her with my music, for it was my only passion. I sung a lullaby I learned from one of the many operas I sang. I remember that moment only faintly, when I brushed her hair with my fingers, and her face turned paler then it already was, when she suddenly took a deep breath, her last one, and kissed goodbye to the world. The lullaby ended there... I never let go of my mother until they had to peel me off. And the last image I ever had was her in the coffin, encased by satin, with a rose being held by her dead hand, all pretty, yet thorned. For some reason after then, roses have been my favorite flower, all else considering my name is _Violet _Hanson.

My father wasn't exactly my favorite person. He was against the music I made, but later found it as a way to get rid of me. By the age of fifteen I was in the opera, and singing as only background for half a year. It was until one of the conductors heard me singing in my dressing room, he was so awestruck he considered me for one of the new operas coming to the London Opera Company. Instead, I got understudy, but that was as good as anything. My father told me I could go and make my own living on music, and that he was going to go and travel to the new world instead of stay here and consider me as his. I soon found my own flat, being as clever as I've always been, and put it under my mother's maiden name, Felicity Smith. I used my father's money out of the bank to pay for it, and I lived alone with furniture from the mansion I recently lived in. Not to mention... I stole it from there, because they were about to put the exquisite furniture on the market. Again, that was my father's work... being his only child, I would have thought he would have gave me _something_ when he's off to the new world. But also knowing who he really is, he would never care.

I didn't mind the cruel words he would say to me then... though I hardly remember them now. My father was always on the opposite world of me, I hardly even consider I had one. Though I wasn't the happiest girl in London, I was probably the brattiest girl in London. I _had_ to have _everything_. And if I didn't have what I wanted, you could forget me ever being your star. Yes, my voice got me to that point... only because it was the only thing I had. I had only one friend, and her name was Marie and she was a brat as well, but we had something in common--loneliness. She was there at every dress rehearsal for me, whether she was in the chorus girls or not for that opera. She understood my passion for the stage, the passion for being in the lights and soaking every bit of adoration up like a sponge.

Even if I had everything I wanted... I always considered death as an alternative. I didn't have anything to live for except music, and to me that was pathetic. If my father found out I was dead, I knew he wouldn't come back to London for my funeral, so what was the point?

Everything changed one night...

It was the night of a premiere, my first time in the leading roll, not as an understudy, though. _I_ was the star... and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I wore the stage costume with pride, my pale skin illuminating me, making me so I was beautiful, with my long brown hair, no longer curly but straight, and odd for that time and age.

I guess my natural beauty was both good and bad for those times. I loved it because I could put it next to the pride in music, something else I could live for... but on the other part of my mind, I always wanted to be beautiful in my grave... just like my mom was. But it was horrible... because I never thought that my such neutral beauty could attract such danger, such horrible things like it has.

But it was that night that I met just one more thing to live for. And it came in a man that was tall, slim, deathly pale, and extremely handsome. That sounded stupid, right? You could probably guess that I took all chances... because he was staring _right_ at me as I passed through the crowd backstage. I could tell he was aristocratic, his suit not but the finest in London, Parisian style and class. He walked with such grace, it was incredible. He attracted every female eye in the room, mainly because he was single, and the married woman were smacked away by their husbands because of their stares. I guess I was the stupid one-being so blind as to not see the message that every part of this astounding young man brought in every cell of his body, from his cold, black eyes, to his pale, smooth skin... the word _danger_ screamed at me. But I refused to listen to it. I doubted he would even be interested in me, and it wasn't proper to have any sort of fancy with a man that's not your class. After all, I _am_ a bratty opera singer, and he's a rich, fine, man... although I wasn't ever sure I could even _call_ him a man. I wasn't sure why, though.

Yes, I was stupid back then. One small infatuation led to this, and it's bringing me back. You really never know when small mistakes can come back... and just bite you in the neck.

_Chapter 1:_

_Changed_

It wasn't until a month later that I found out the small glance he gave me the one premiere night wasn't meaningless. I had found a rose in my dressing room that was marked as being from this David Winters... and it had a note attached to it. It told me words of love, which is all I remember. I must remind you these memories are not very clear, I can only tell you the bases of them. They seemed to entrance me... leave me in a state of both shock and confusion. Because, at the end of the note, at the bottom, it said something about meeting him backstage after the next day's rehearsal, and I could finally meet him face-to-face.

I wasn't sure about it at first... who knows that rumors could spread around the Company so vastly that I would have time to catch up with them. I could tell you that these rumors are worse then what goes around a school. They could either make or break a person... For instance, meeting a strange man in the darkest corner of the theater at a selected time that was decided earlier, could easily lead up to false leadings that come to having an affair with an unauthorized person. Yet, when I finally arrived, an hour after rehearsal, there wasn't anyone there, and my worries came to a halt.

He bid me hello, I remember... the first time meeting David was one of the most distinct things of my human lifetime, for he _was_ the forbidden, and like breaking the rules for the first time, they always remain stained in your memory.

"Hello, Violet. I've been waiting for you." A voice, so strong and perfect, it rang in my ear when I approached the corner, my knees shaking, buckling under my skirts, not letting me go any further. I wish I had these instincts later, before he turned me mindless...

"You have?" I think I stuttered then. They were awkward, my own melodic voice seeming horrible under his perfect one.

"Yes." He smiled, showing a full mouth of perfect teeth, something rare that you would see in London, even for a highly pampered aristocrat. "You seemed to catch my eye... you know... on the stage." He laughed as if enjoying a private joke. Through the dim light, his eyes were penetrating... so very black and... well, they should be frightening. But there was another voice telling me they were _beautiful_.

"Oh really?" I smiled, a little more at ease, though, now when I look back on it, I don't see how I would have been.

"Very beautiful you are. You're voice... so perfect. It could catch any man's attention, and I'm surprised it hasn't already." He seemed less dark now... but he was suddenly close to me, his cold breath down my neck. I should have found it frightening as well, but instead... it was... sexy. His perfectly built body was so close to mine, that I wished to run my hands over it. Though I had no experience in love before, only flirting with the lower-class every once in a while. But even they weren't fooled. I wasn't flirting with David, he was flirting with me. If you could call it flirting. Last time I checked, flirting wasn't built up with strong glances, and closeness, because for me, it was all smiles, and touches on the shoulder that builds up to fluttering of eyelashes.

"Thank you." I only seemed to mutter, for his closeness was making it hard for me to breathe or even pay attention.

He laughed under his breath and looked down to me, straight in the eyes. I wasn't entirely sure if it was true because of the dim lighting in the theater, but his eyes might be a deep crimson. That doesn't sound right, or natural, but they _were_. That should have drove me away as well, but again, it didn't.

It was after a long, drawn-out conversation I had with him that I thought I was in love. Well, not true love, but serious infatuation. I felt... protected under his gaze, his cold arms over mine, as hard as stone, as we walked through the theater, exchanging facts upon life, how I came to the opera. Well, it was mostly about myself. Never once had I heard a word from him about family, what he does for a living, why he's interested in me. I couldn't ignore the constant stares that I was receiving from the many maids, the chorus girls, ballet rats, but he seemed to not mind. It was just _right_ with him. As little as I knew the man, I thought I was actually caring for him. I smiled when he did, just so beautiful.

He followed me to my flat at the end of the day, and bid me goodnight, kissing the palm of my hand with his cold lips, and then he left. After he was gone, there was in no way how I could possibly forget him. I stayed up in my bed, eyes wide open, and thinking of him, how he laughed, how he talked, the way he walked, even. And then when I closed my eyes all I could see was his angelic face, his black hair, his pale skin, and those glorious eyes that tell an untold story. I was obsessed after one conversation with him. Even if I had no idea why he even decided to talk to me.

The next day, he greeted me in the morning at the opera, when I went in for rehearsal before the matinée. And the following day... and both times it was raining, and the sun hardly showed. But the next day, when there finally was some sun, and it was beautiful as it always is in the fall in London, I didn't see him. Suspicions arose quickly, finding it strange he wasn't there in the morning, but it he might just have a cold... after all his skin is always freezing, and there's always a purple shadow under his eyes. I shouldn't expect much.

It wasn't for another week after getting to know him... sort of, that he... well, he kissed me. On the lips, not just on the cheek. It was so... _so wrong_, and I hardly knew him. Just what the paper wants, too, another opera scandal. But they didn't have to find out. David said he'd make sure of it, I wasn't sure about how much I could trust him, either. He kissed me deeply, like a lover would kiss another lover. And he went up and down my neck, his cold, and unnaturally hard lips. Of course, I kissed him back, but not as deep as he did. It was wrong. But who was there to even care about what I do wrong or right? I had no father to nag, no mother to approve. I could die and he would be the only one to care, which makes our relationship even stronger.

He whispered words of love in my ear, how much he adores me. How much he cares for me. And I whispered how much I wanted him, how much I _had_ to have him. Every bit. But he shushed me, bringing a long finger to my lips, and saying we don't need to get into that just yet. His eyes were a brilliant red when he told me that, all the more beautiful. His skin was a bit more flushed and living, and his arms were warmer. His hand would rest on my chest, as if searching for something other then what the average man would. I didn't mind it.

I had no clue how far over my head I was, either.

The next few months were something I barely remember now, but we went even deeper in love. He would send my poems he wrote himself to my dressing room vanity, always with a rose whose thorns were never sanded off. I would be kissing him for a long time, until he had to pull away. It was never me who had pulled away though. I would want us to go further. It totally fascinated me, how I was brushing my fingers along the face of danger, and I could always sense it, and still ignore it.

It wasn't until one night about six months after I first met him until it all happened. I must note, no, I never lost my virginity then. Evidently David actually did want to keep something over those months even though I begged him to show some freedom. Somehow, our love was kept secret besides a few witnesses that were kind enough not to spread the word.

This is the second memory that stays with me. I mean, how can it not? Changing a life entirely, losing life, and becoming something else. That's very hard to forget.

I was late in the summer, the chill of fall just barely brushing the beautiful city. I had a new opera to be in, and at the time, I was a complete hit. I was the youngest prima donna ever to exist, and my name was already hitting record books of music. Even today, my name is in music history books. It was after the performance that I usually meet up with the subscribers, adoring audience members, and newspaper journalists that want to interview. And sometimes I meet up with counts, viscounts, and many big-named countesses. But one pair stuck out to me. Usually, the counts and countesses seem to be never together. Hardly in love, really, they only marry for the money in the opposite family, something that if my parents stuck around to care about my life, I would be definitely doing and David would never be there.

Anyways, the couple was beautiful. The man was tall and brooding, pale skin like David, yet he was older-looking and wiser. David was in his twenties, I knew, and this man looked as if he was in his later twenties just because of his strange beauty. He had long black hair, longer then David's, that was tied behind his neck, and his wife who had ebony hair, same skin as his. And their eyes... they were... strange. It was this peculiar gold, something not natural. It was strange, but less disturbing then David's red eyes. It was like they were some sort of other species. David was locked onto my arm as we walked past, and they looked as if they _knew_ each other as well. I mean, this tall aristocrat could easily be his father just by the extremely pale skin tone, and their strange-colored eyes, as well as the woman who was very kindly, and you could easily walk up to her in a nice manner.

Their lovely faces were suddenly twisted when walking by my partner. They gave him this horrid stare out of hatred. The man seemed to look at me directly with these eyes that held so much distress in them, I couldn't stop staring at him back. David seemed to just shove me along, whispering in my ear, "pay no attention."

Luckily, I found out later what that all meant in the corridor. And in a way that it was... painful.

David asked me if I would like to take a walk outside, giving me the excuse that I might want to see the full moon. Well, I knew it was actually a new moon currently, but shrugged it off, knowing we might just do something... naughty instead. Of course, I was all up for it, knowing the further I went, the faster this stress will disappear and remain silent. It was this single time that my entire conscience told me that I shouldn't go with him this one time, that it was dangerous. Just this once though. David's eyes were coal black, this sinister color that I no longer found beautiful. He was tense when he walked beside me, very impatient for the first few minutes as we started to walk toward the woods. There was a small river nearby as well, completely untouched by civilization, and beneath my heavy breathing, I could hear it babbling loudly.

"Come closer, Violet, it's very cold outside," He said, very off-key to me. Something just didn't stay with me, either. I knew it wasn't cold, it was the end of summer. The leaves were just barely falling. And I had one of my capes wrapped around me to keep warm instead of the absence of David's body heat.

"W-w-what are w-we d-doing...?" I asked slowly, shaking, but not because I was cold... I was frightened out of my wits. There was something _so_ wrong... very, very wrong. I should be starting to run now, but somehow I can't. I _loved_ David, why would I run from him. There was something else that was inviting to him. He was just so very beautiful in the night air, his skin glowing, so smooth I wanted to touch it.

"Don't be frightened..." He whispered, outstretching his hand to me. There was a sudden snap of a twig, but I let it pass as an animal, and my hand met with his. Very quickly, I was pulled toward him, so close, my body seemed to mold to his granite self. His cold breath breathing down my neck, so softly, so wonderful. His scent, it was better then any perfume in the world. But he was just _so_ near, his lips on my neck, planting kisses. His hand holding my back, almost like cradling me into him. I was scared, my heart thudding against my chest rapidly, like a bird's wings just begging to take flight.

A moan escaped my lips, and I found his finger there. I was almost about to scream... his lips, and then his teeth, they were like knives just barely brushing against my skin. He came up just to say one more thing to me.

"I'm so sorry Violet to do this. I really hope you'll forgive me sometime." He said. Another moan escaped my lips, this time more like a loud scream. He bent my neck over, revealing most of my neck to him. His lips moved to my jugular, slowly moving up and down, as if smelling it. I think I even heard him grumble some words about... how my blood _smelled_ good to him. But I couldn't pay any attention.

Suddenly, I felt this stabbing pain in my neck, like someone was burning it alive suddenly. I began to scream, to thrash myself against him. He was _biting_ my neck! Beneath all that, there was a sucking feeling, as if the life was slowly draining from the singular spot. And then there was fire! My entire head was burning and screaming wouldn't help... it only made it worse. He held me up by only my back, and kept me there as he bit into my wrist, my blood overflowing into it, but I couldn't watch. My eyes were shut, giving in slowly to death as life was slowly being lost. The burning still never stopped... and I thought death was blissful.

Soon, I was thrown onto the ground, but it wasn't as late as I expected to be. There was a loud crash against a tree, and loud hissing sounds. David wasn't on me any more, sucking my blood, leaving me to die. No... I was still probably going to die, but it was just going to be more gradual then simply sucking it out of me. I couldn't stop thrashing my legs out, my entire body flailing in pain, the fire seeming to come more into my arms, and all over my head. It wouldn't _stop_ even after he was off of me! Will it ever! Will I _die_ like this!? My entire body was instantly off the ground and I was... I was... flying! The burning still continued... but was I going to hell? Were these hell fires? No, I was still on earth, and evidently in a forest, weaving at an immaculate speed through the trees.

"I want to die!" I screamed at the invisible force. "Let me die! Let me die!" I screeched. The dark figure didn't even seem to mind my loud screeching, I could only barely feel his arms cringe at the power of my voice. I closed my eyes, hoping with all my love of God that he would just let me die, just let me how it should.

But if that happened... I wouldn't be here, now would I?

You wonder how I lived, I bet. Well, my source tells me I lost a lot of blood that night, about half my average capacity, and it's the devil's miracle my heart was still beating vicariously when it began to spread.

When I opened my eyes, after obtaining the pain for a while now, it seemed to worsen with every hour that passed. Actually, I wasn't even aware of time, I had been counting heartbeats. They were more numerable then ever, and I could hear it in detail as it beat in my ear. It was growing faster, I could tell, and the fire was now only in my chest, my arms and legs entirely numb... and were they just a tad bit... paler? Were they dead? I moved a leg up so I could see it, and it was a paper white. Paler then I already am, naturally as an English girl.

I couldn't stop rolling, as if it would extinguish the fire, and it didn't. As usual. But it seemed nobody would hear my screams, or at least I couldn't hear them. Tongues of fire eating me whole, my heart speeding up to an unbelievable rate. It seemed like eternity until I was acknowledged by something, an incredibly cold hand was placed on my head, making me stay back. Another two hands were holding down my legs, and the other hand from the head on my arm. Someone was shushing me, telling me to calm down, but I couldn't! How could death be this slow?! How could it last this long!? My heart accelerated even more, fluttering faster then a bird's wings, faster then it was before. It was deathly how my breathing was so quick, I couldn't think. I couldn't even _see_. It was as if I was blinded by the constant blood rushing through me.

Another screech escaped my lips as the pain became worse, biting into me, licking me to the death. Why wouldn't it stop!? I kept asking myself.

"LET ME DIE!" I screamed, unable to move anymore. Another extremely loud scream escaped my lips as it became _even_ worse... my eyes closed shut, preparing for death.

My heart then... stopped. And I was still breathing.

Every single thing in my body, I just felt it stop. It was as if it just gave up on me. But, alas, I was still in this heavy body. And I felt... well, I felt _dead_. Was I?

My eyes fluttered open instantly to reveal two pale faces staring intently at me, as if they were enjoying the entire show. Well, one of them seemed that way, his face as interested in me as he would be watching a show, and the female face was just horrified. But they were perfectly sketched in my vision, I could see every bit of color that came off them in the firelight. In fact, I could see..._ everything_. The dust that floated gracefully past my face, every single color in the white light, the entire spectrum, I could see just perfectly. My eyes widened, becoming larger, exposing much more of the world besides the two expressions that never left my gaze.

I was dazzling myself with the detail... every flake of ash in the fire, every string in the carpet below me. And it was absolutely extravagant! I felt myself smiling largely while still laying down on the couch that just recently imprisoned me, but I couldn't remember how it got that way, how I just happened to be here, or why I was screaming. This enhanced world made me forget all of that.

"...Violet?" A low male voice asked. It was like he was singing that... was it a name? Was it mine? I was confused. But, he was staring at me, and I was staring at him. An archangel's face... as if perfectly sculpted, his pale skin seeming to glow. And same with the female's... Have I seen them before?

"Violet, can you hear me?" The voice sung to me again. I wanted to listen to more. I was about to _beg_ him to sing me more... were they words?

"Answer, please." He begged, seeming amused by my confused expression. "Breathe!" He commanded, starting to laugh whole-heartedly. Breathe... Oh!

I inhaled air, and was astounded once more. For now, I smelt every single thing in this room. The ash, it smelt wonderful the dust could be better, the carpet had something distinct. I smelled this flowery, and wonderfully light vapor radiating everywhere in the room. Even the couple before me smelled... well, better then everything in this room! I then noticed I hadn't blinked at all, nor have I breathed, or have I _moved_.

"Am I dead?" A voice asked aloud. But... _I_ asked that. The voice, it was like an angel's, like something that had been perfected over and over again. It sang those words like the wind ringing through my ear, so light and soft, but yet very strong. Strange combination, but all the more lavish. It was _all mine_! A smile of domination came upon my lips.

"No, you're not dead." Answered the male.

"Who _are_ you then?" My voice asked, I didn't even seem to think of it before.

"Sit up, Violet," he instructed, placing a hand under my back and helping me to rise. I sat up to face them both at eye height. I didn't even think of moving, either, I just _did_. "I am Alexander Sharpe, and this is my wife, my mate, Victoria Sharpe. And you are Violet Hanson, the opera star." He smiled charmingly.

"That's my name then..." I replied stupidly, nodding like a two-year-old finding out about Christmas. "...There's something wrong with me." I noted, again very child-like. My voice seemed to be even higher then it was before.

"No, you have just died and became reborn. You're heart has stopped and yet you are still living, you don't need to breathe, you don't need to move, you are just there. And you are no longer human, my darling, either. You were before, and you must always remember that no matter how cloudy those memories are for you." He explained calmly to me, both of us seeming to take notes with each other's actions.

"So... I'm dead. But I'm not. What am I?" I asked, jerking my head to the side, quicker then expected once more.

"You are... one of us. One of the undead, like us. Do not fear, child, you must live with it, and you will learn to because we will teach you. You will crave something you have never before, but you must learn to love it." The words craving something seemed to light a candle in my head. I perked up, noticing my throat was so dry and burning up as it was before. It ached... as if someone just lit a match there and only there. I felt thirsty, but water wasn't exactly on my mind.

"... It _hurts_! Make it stop!" I hissed, taking my hand to my throat as if massaging it would do any good. My hand was hard, as was my throat. "What do I need? Give it to me!" I greedily roared, thrashing myself up the couch faster then I could blink. Alexander turned his head to smile at Victoria who gave worried eyes to me. But later they turned into a smile, somehow knowing what he was about to say.

"You will need blood." Alexander said naturally, as if it wasn't a big deal. And somehow, it suddenly wasn't so bad for me, either.


	2. Lust

**Ok, so, for some reason, I wasn't able to put an author's note on the last chapter so I will go ahead and put one on here! Yay! I have already wrote this story, the same plot and everything something like a year ago I began it. Now, I am rewriting it to make it even better than it was before. I am very proud of this work, and I hope it will get further than it did last time. If not, I really don't see what people in this category beg for. Now, I beg of people to review AND don't just say it's good or it's bad. I WANT CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. One or two words won't cut it for me.**

**Enjoy!  
~The Phantoms Flutist~**

* * *

_Chapter 2:_

_Lust_

Victoria led me to the forest behind the mansion where I was evidently staying. At first, I didn't understand... If I was wanting blood, wouldn't it be human blood?

"Where are we going?" I asked slowly, as she guided my wary body into the trees. I could smell everything, hear everything. Snapping of twigs a mile away from an animal, chirping of birds flying high above us... and the most dominant of all, the thumping of an animal's heart that was within only a few yards.

"You must realize that you were once human too, Violet. You must remember these things such that you wish not to take a life." She explained like a teacher teaches a student, methodically and slowly. I took in every word as if it was something to suck in slowly.

"But, my throat _hurts_! It must go away!" I demanded impatiently, once more. "_Please_!" I begged.

"I will make it stop, child." She said, tapping my nose. She was like an angel in the flesh before me, a fairy, maybe. A goddess seemed more appropriate. "Now, watch carefully, learn,"she said cautiously and then disappeared into the trees. She returned with the unmoving corpse of a deer in her arms, her teeth sunk into it's jugular. For a second, she didn't set it down while I watched willingly. And I grew mad... she took me into this forest to show me an _animal_?!

"Kneel down," She ordered and I obeyed. The smell of it's blood... it was sweeter than a lot of things I've smelled just yet. But not enough to be made perfect. It was still warm, I could sense it, still somewhat living although the heart has ceased to beat. "Now, take in the blood where I have cut into the neck," She said cordially, and then pointed with her finger where her full set of teeth bit into the animal. Hesitantly, I leaned down to see what I was about to do at a different angle. Gently, she leaned my head closer to it, forcing me to bite down into the flesh.

It wasn't... well, it wasn't what I was waiting for. But it was as good as anything. The burning in my throat, all over my body, the pulling at my frozen veins, it had grew just a little better. And I kept drinking, sucking in the life that the graceful deer just lost. The blood became colder and colder, and soon, it was not appetizing anymore. I pulled away quickly, my brows knitted together and looked up to the angel who was waiting for me to go on.

"I want more." I demanded coldly. She only smiled, taking the cuff of her sleeve and wiping my mouth off with it just like my mother would have.

"Now, you will catch it for yourself, dear." She replied, and started to run for the deeper forest. Eventually, finding I wasn't following her, she paused, turning around and signaled for me to follow. And I did, of course. I would follow her anywhere that would give me relief of the pain I would continuously suffer currently.

There were even more thumps that surrounded me, filling my senses with deep lust. My nostrils flared, taking in every part of it. The fresh blood that now flowed through all the veins in all the animals. The blood I _wanted_ more than anything. There were fast and slow thumps that seemed to only whisper to me now. A lot of them were growing fainter and fainter as they seemed to hide from me. But it didn't matter, I was sure I could beat a gazelle at grace and speed. Suddenly, I was, as if it could be as natural as breathing, taking off into the trees like the speed of what I had been thinking I would be. Leaping over fallen trees, over small streams, and eventually large pools of water. And all I knew was that I had to find the louder thumping sound. And when I did, the taste would enter my mouth, as sweet as honey on a summer's day, brightening my senses as if I was living for the first time. Something like being born every time I sunk my teeth into the ideal animal, and the red would gush onto my lips as if nothing else happened.

I could feel the predator being sucked away from those that were in the animal kingdom into me. And I moved like the lion I had just battled away, I was graceful as a gazelle, and faster than the jack rabbit.

Soon, after about five times feeling the warm blood come into me, not exactly having any idea what I was doing in the forest I felt full and satisfied. I was aware of my surroundings once more, now acknowledging Victoria who had been following me all this time like my personal monitor. I turned around, reluctant to go away from my feast, but all the while trying. I wanted to know _more_. If I longed for human flesh, how could it be that I was even human before? I had to know more of this mystery and solve it. What was I? What am I now? I wasn't sure... I didn't have enough proof of anything. I was so distracted with the new world, I couldn't care because it had nothing to do with the old one.

"Are you filled, love?" She asked light-heartedly. A nod was good enough to me. She again wiped the blood off my mouth with her sleeve and looked down my clothing which I soon discovered was ripped and torn. Marks of the animals were left on it, rips and claw prints as I fought it down. She _tsk_ed with her tongue as she looked me over. "It's only you're first time, neatness is something that takes time to master." She smiled again, and took my arm as we ran back toward where I came from without another word.

I was something new, something beautiful. When I first saw my actual reflection, I thought another person was passing it. My skin, ivory as it had been was now a little more luminous and lively. My hair no longer brown but... it was black. The girl in the mirror that stared back as awestruck as I felt, her mouth hanging open like mine. She was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. The only thing that ruined it all, giving her a more dangerous look was her _eyes_. They were a blood-shot red. The color of death itself. I backed up, a little more than overwhelmed, but horrified. I was what I was... and I had to accept that, though.

"Are you okay, darling?" Victoria asked coming somehow from behind me.

"Am I a monster now?" I asked dully, still looking at the two people in the mirror, my fingers touching the mirror, just to see if it was actually a mirror.

"No, of course not. We will help you from becoming anything dangerous, of course." She smiled again. I believed her, as usual.

"What am I? _Truly_?" I questioned even more intuitive.

"I have already mentioned what you are, Violet. Do you not believe me?"

"I'm not sure who to believe anymore." I chided, and then turned to look at her. "Can you _please_ answer my question... again?"

"You are a vampire. Like me, like Alexander. One of us, a whole other life. And you are not to worry, you are not to fear, this life will bring you so much _more_ than any human life could ever bring." She explained to me, rubbing my shoulders carefully pressing my head to her chest. "And I will protect you until the ends of the earth. I _see_ good potential in you, Violet, and you will forever carry that light with you."

I learned over time, more and more of what her words actually meant. How many good and bad things that can come out of this, and most of all the carefulness she showed toward me.

I felt loved when I was with her. I was sure she would stay with me as a mother would with her own daughter. And somehow, I felt more relation to her than I ever have with anyone that I could remember. Because she was _just_ like me. Perhaps a little older, but she knew what I felt. And it was warming like the blood that now flooded my frozen veins both human and animal so much that it was miraculous. I don't believe life could ever feel this way itself. Alexander as well, seemed just as intuitive of my needs as Victoria seemed, if not more. He treated me with such respect, I hardly deserved it. I found him smiling when Victoria would repeatedly comb out my hair, and pamper me. He would go into town at night and come home large stacks of books in his arms because he somehow already knew that I loved to read.

They would give me everything an nothing when I stayed in the mansion, untouched by society and never seeing the light of day unless it is out a window. I found later on, when I go against Alexander's strict rules of day time, that when I open the shade, and let the sun in for just a moment, my skin would be reflecting it. I saw to it not frightening, but beautiful in a dark way. I knew that I would not burn, I would not turn into dust, and I would not become ill. I _could_ see the sun now, but just not in society. Although, I found it unfair that Alexander would go into town during the daytime wearing a cloak over his features outside and I did not understand why I could not do the same.

These questions burned brightly in my head, knowing that it wasn't something proper to ask in my current position. I wasn't a master at this new life just yet, but I felt as if I couldn't ask anything. For, I didn't understand their reasoning for making me stay indoors most of the time except every week or so when I would be able to go into the night and fetch a few animals and come back full and living as ever.

Though, they knew I did not bide by their rules all the time. I naturally was a girl that did not listen to elders... though I could hardly consider my new-found family being elderly for they were only in their early twenties. I'm just not so sure _how_ long exactly they have been in their early twenties. But anyway, I was so curious about going back into London again that I once left the house without them knowing. I found that I was stronger and faster than them currently, because they told me I still have human blood in me which kept me strong and yet very irritable. I didn't care for the reason why, but I had gained a point against them and my natural rebellion. But it was one night, after hunting, that I had decided to leave the property and explore elsewhere for the first time. I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to get lost giving credit to my now extremely acute eyesight and sense of smell. I would be able to find my way back around once finished.

I just had to _try_.

The first thing I did was follow my nose. The memory I have recently gained from my first life was the smell of smoke from the chimneys of London on a winter day. It had a very homey smell to it, and it was something that felt just right to me. Therefore, I was going to venture out to get a good glimpse of the city without breaking any rules.

Once I reached my ideal spot, it was as if every memory hit me like a bluster of wind. I remember coming up here sometime with... with someone. That was still very blurry as if their face has been completely erased at the current moment. It was simply on a large hill near where the mansion I was resorting at was and it was tall enough I could see most of the city. The moon just rising over top, I could hear the clinking of carriages going through, and I could hear the babble of people's voices just coming into their homes for the night if not out to a ball at one of the mansions. The city was falling asleep, just like I would have been except I have never felt tired in the full month of becoming what I have became... something to the right hand of monster.

I could have left into the city just to see what was so forbidden to me about it. And I would have... but something held me back. My love for my new family I think was it. They were already like the parents I lost, something like a leader to me in this new strange world of mine and the light at which was radiating from them. They meant no harm to me, and I could sense they loved me back. And it felt better than I have ever known and if they were forbidding me to go into the city, well, I'm pretty sure there is a reason.

After about an hour of sitting and watching the city below, I rose from where I was, and turned to go back toward the mansion, saying my goodbye to civilization until whenever I was allowed to go back.

"I was worried of you, Violet! You should have came in so much earlier! What were you doing?" Victoria asked, immediately knocking me over as soon as I stepped through the door, my cape still hung over my shoulders. I smiled, rolling my eyes and looked up to her.

"Nobody died." I said, shaking my head and pinching my temples. "I'm seriously _fine_. I just went out for a stroll in the forest and came upon an excellent view of the city. I didn't touch it, mother of mine, I only viewed from afar." I let a little acid drip into my sarcastic words. Alexander was behind her, smiling with me while she kept the same annoyed grimace.

"I don't deem funny, Alexander." She slapped his arm.

"I'm not laughing! The girl has whit!" He replied innocently with big eyes. I decided to finally ask them the question that has been bugging me for a while and it came out with my triumph illuminating, finally.

"I don't understand why I cannot go into town, Victoria. What's so wrong?" I asked, still not losing my fire.

"Yes, why not Victoria?" Asked Alexander smugly. After Victoria turned around to slap him again on the arm, she turned to me, bewildered.

"Have you seen yourself truly, Violet?" She asked, which made me grimace.

"Yes." I answered dubiously.

"Have you seen your eyes? Do you think normal human beings have blood red eyes like you do?" The coldness of her tone made me cringe.

"Yes, I have! It is something I _swear_ I can easily hide!" I began to raise my voice involuntarily.

"But do you understand your thirst, child? Do you see how much pain you have when you don't have the animal blood in you? It's just as worse as it is with human blood. And you are yet to face that and you are weak and inexperienced. _That_ is why we hide you, to keep the secret and you _safe_!" She explained quickly.

"..._Oh_." I seemed to spit out with the little breath I had left, backing up a step or two. "But I can hold my breath!" I added, hopeful of winning this fight.

"People actually notice those sorts of things." Alexander finally said, no longer smiling, turning to his partner with narrowed eyes, once more the brooding man he was always. "_That_ is why I told you we cannot hide these sorts of things from her. She _must_ know!" He replied harshly back to her, grabbing her shoulder. His lips then moved quickly, and no words were audible even to _my_ ears. He spoke too quickly for someone standing about two yards away to hear.

"_What_?" I hissed impatiently, looking between them.

"Nothing." Victoria answered hastily, shooting another stern glance in her mate's direction. "For God's sakes, Alexander..." She sighed, shaking her head. "The burden is too hard to take in all at once. She doesn't need to know everything at once." And those were the only words I could make out of the entire thing. What _more_ do I need to know? I was with Victoria on that... I didn't want to know anymore just yet. The fact I crave blood, I am actually dead, and I am dangerously beautiful is enough to take in for now. All I need now is time and patience which is what I never seem to have...

Months seemed to pass on like days being stuck here. My feeding has grown enormously, as in that I am taking about six very large animals instead of five smaller ones. Victoria tells me that I am getting rid of my human blood very slowly and she explained that it was somewhat painful. She told me that I'm not actually _dead_ until all of my human blood is gone and replaced with the blood from animals and in other cases, humans. That was only one of the many questions I had for her. I asked her how long I could live, and the most painful answer for her was one simple word. _Forever_. I never thought much of eternity, now that I think of it. I always thought that dying meant that you would go to heaven if you were a strong Catholic and you would spend eternity with God. But... now that I know I'm not going to die, I started to ponder about how I would never see my promised paradise.

"How do I die?" I had to ask... it made my stomach do strange things when I thought of things I could survive without any sort of wound now.

"Well, it's not easy. The only way is to be disembodied and the remnants be burnt to ash. The ash must be spread in order for it to be a true death." Alexander had to answer that for Victoria as she only gazed out the window into the moonlit night. That seemed painful... I shuddered. Maybe thinking about death wasn't ideal.

"It's not a comforting answer, is it?" Asked Victoria, seeming slightly annoyed and I think I saw Alexander rolling his eyes as he left the room to his study. I smirked, again winning the battle from remaining unknowing to being knowledgeable.

The rest of the year passed... and already, in my room, there was probably an entire library of books all on newly found bookshelves. Alexander had stolen me a violin from one of the music shoppes that were about to go out of business and it now lowly stood in my room, in all it's wooden splendor. Alexander later taught me how to play it as a father would teach his daughter, for he had one of his own that he actually made just recently and learned how to play it himself. With my new-found mind, I soaked it all in like a sponge just as I had with all of my stolen or bought books. The notes I found were easy and obvious. And the music books piled onto each other from recent composers like money would fall all around an aristocrat or a banker.

I was a newborn vampire laughing in the wealth of my growing knowledge whilst most newborn vampires would laugh in their wealth in blood. But I was different. I didn't want to kill... I soon thought of how much I didn't want to kill any human _or_ animal.

The memories flowed back to me, as soon as Victoria would tell me all the details she knew from just watching me on stage when I was human. She would tell me I absorbed the stage like a greedy little girl would take her chocolate from a shoppe and leave. She laughed about my quirks with the man I fell in love with, and how he thought me whimsy. But never once had she mentioned his name, and never had I remembered. It's like there was a wall in my entire memory of my creator. The one whom I now despise with all the life in me. I didn't care to learn his name, though, for it didn't matter to me. I hate who I hate, and that's over with. But for now, I was happy in what I knew in the world already, and that's all that I cared about. I stole animals as I pleased and rid their bodies somewhere in the forest where nobody ventured to. I'm scared for whomever does... finding a large pile of animal carcasses in the forest randomly. As long as neither Victoria nor Alexander knew, I was good because that was _my _section of the forest. They wouldn't go there, anyway.

After an entire year, my eyes had changed from a brilliant red to a more mellow gold. I felt less powerful as before, for I was actually completely dead. My skin took on a paler tone, just another shade more white than it was already. And for once, I felt normal.

My first journey to London after my change was possibly the most interesting thing so far. Victoria and Alexander were going down to venture the city that was filled with light one night, and they decided to add me to the picture. I was excited, as it was natural, but frightened nonetheless. I had took the necessary precautions, as Victoria put it, by hunting first before being exposed to human blood so it wasn't as tempting.

But I was scared out my my skin of how I was compared to humans. Would I be an alien to them, or shall I hide myself? My cape which was long over my shoulders, hardly showing any of me at all. Most of the time, my hood was pulled over my head, so my face was shadowed and people wouldn't give a second glance.

It was the first time taking a carriage since my change as well. We never took it about because we preferred to run, but running into the city wasn't a way to not be noticed. Our hired driver who, on occasion, sees far too much of us. Alexander has threatened to kill him repeatedly, for he has already seen me run out into the forest, but Victoria is the one to keep him down. She said we'd kill him once we are through with the driver.

The streets were damp from the newly fallen rain, and the smell of earth, smoke, and something incredibly sweet filled my nostrils. Of course, the "something sweet" being the blood... But I tried to ignore it, thinking more of the other smells that were different.

My head was constantly turned by the wind created by the human men, their seductive necks exposed to me... and my constant craving to bite into them, to feel the warm, fresh life run into me perhaps one-hundred times better than any animal would be. But no. I couldn't... and I wouldn't. Though the utmost lust was always with me, burning the back of my throat like fire, no matter how much I fed before.

"It is so beautiful this time of year," Victoria sighed into Alexander's ear, kissing his cheek tenderly. I had to look away, though. It felt as if it wasn't my place to remain staring for some reason.

"Yes, it truly is," replied Alexander, kissing his wife back. I had to clench my arms behind my back as if I was allergic to such affection. It seemed... something, out of all the things, I yearn for that I cannot grasp. As if it was impossible. Something else to add onto my long list of things that cause me pain and lust. It's just falling apart slowly.


	3. Nicholas

**For all that are actually reading, I'm sorry for the excessive wait. I went to Texas over the holiday break so that put a damper on my work. Eh... I'm kinda annoyed, really. only one review for two chapters and I thought I'd get more. *shrugs* I don't expect much... anyway... *stomps off* Enjoy this chapter those of you who care!**

**~ThePhantomsFlutist~**

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Chapter 3:_

_Nicholas_

Twenty lonely and short years passed like a bullet just going around my head. They say the slow times pass in a blink of an eye. I testify that fact. Quite frankly, if the slow times are all the time, then it comes by slower than it did before. Time meant little… it wasn't like I was getting any older, or growing at all. No, I was remaining five-foot-three the remainder of my life, which was alright. I mean, I wasn't going to grow any much more after sixteen, right? And so what if I live until the end of the world? At least I could manage to see it happen _if it ever happens_. I kicked my door hard after shutting it into my room and turned to look in the semi-cracked mirror.

I wasn't changed; not a hair grown, my penetrating golden eyes still intact, my black hair not even a degree darker. I felt as if I was going to rip that hair out of my scalp violently, anger bubbling in my chest like a monster waiting to be let out of a cage. Everything is the _same_!

My room consisted of four bookshelves, an unneeded bed, a desk, and about six different instruments either on their stands, hanging from the music stand, or in their fine wooded cases. My flute, my most prized possession was next to me on my bed after I played it for about an hour without stopping. Music was something that kept me here... something that did actually change and grew like a real, living person. That's what kept it beautiful, and I strive for all the beautiful things. But this one… this one is like a fine jewel only select people can wear around and call it their own because only select people actually have music in their heart whether it's frozen or continuous.

Wax candles were placed in every corner giving my room an evanescent glow so it wasn't too bright and easy on my eyes. It calmed me down, staring into the flickering flame of the candle, seeing it cast patterns onto my wall. The only gas lamp in my room was the one on my desk next to the ink and quill just so I didn't spill it all over the fine ebony.

And yet, it took me twenty years to gather enough books that a college professor could only dream of having. Encyclopedias, dictionaries, works by the best authors of this time, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, they were all on my shelves or piled high on the desk. Only my father would do such a thing like this, but he's dead so I didn't mind. I wasn't sad, or angry, or any other feeling toward my father except carelessness. My mother, on the other hand, I felt a great surge of disappointment. I would have taken her into this life with me if it were not for she was already dead. Yet, Victoria was suitable enough.

Loneliness, however, is something that one is not as quick to get over. Normally, the mansion is silent, Alexander usually in his office studying and Victoria is out in the garden. There was something missing no matter how content we would be. I felt as if I had it in my last life, though. Something unreachable…

There was something off when I began to walk down the stairs out of my room. It was the time of week again to go out and hunt as it usually was, and I was about to go inquire Victoria about it because she'd want to know as usual. But it was too silent than it already was before.

"Victoria…? Alexander…?" I called out, suddenly cautious. They would have told me if they were going to leave… "Are you home?" The mansion remained silent. My worry began to overcome me now for this wasn't the usual. I ran back up the stairs and came near their bedroom door silently. Their voices seeped out of the door, from the cracks, giving me a heavy relief. But the tone of their voices was even worse than not finding them at all.

I've never seen them argue before now that I think back on it. At least, as good parents would do for their children, they never fought in front of me. I always thought as both of them closer than anyone could ever be and having such a pure relationship. No, this time it was twisted around. Something _different_.

"There is no logical reason why we cannot give her a chance." Alexander's voice boomed at his partner. Could they mean me? Give a chance at what…? Curiosity slipped through me uninvited and unintended. Perhaps they would tell me what they are brawling over later… maybe not. Maybe now is the only chance to listen in.

"She doesn't need that just yet. Think of how horrified she would be! She's still a child, Alexander…" Victoria shot back with perfect stance.

"None of our kind can strive being lonely," Alexander seemed more reasonable for whomever he was fighting for.

"She seems content with us!" Victoria seemed broken about it, as if this was a life or death situation. My stomach seemed to drop for I knew they were talking about me. I held my breath and steadied my movements as I came closer to their door.

"You must not be looking close enough," Alexander was incredulous with his answers, his voice becoming stronger with each word to the point that it made me shiver.

"Alexander-" Victoria sobbed, "Alexander, if it does go well between whomever she has, she might never return to us… and… I-I love her so… I'm just not ready to let her go, darling…" I was flabbergasted and it was getting on my nerve in a way not knowing of the other person or vampire they were speaking of. I just didn't see leaving either of them even if it's only been twenty years. I don't think I could possibly let go of the only parents I've really known.

"Violet wouldn't do that. She thinks of both of us highly, don't you see? Besides, love, I feel for her just as much as you do, and if I didn't, she wouldn't be here with us." He soothed, and I sensed the fight was over. I recoiled from the door, springing lightly to my feet and cautiously stepped away wandering if it was a bad thing to be listening in. I really didn't want to be considered rude for intruding, either.

Without and warning, their door finally opened and out stepped Alexander with the same splendor he always had when winning something. He looked down to me with hard eyes.

"You heard that, didn't you?" He asked with an edge to his voice that once more made my shudder. I nodded slowly, ashamed. Instantly, he pulled me near, and put my head onto his chest.

"I'm sorry to be listening in. I didn't hear you anywhere and I became worried so I found you in there-"I mumbled, though it was useless

"You have no need to apologize, darling, it's quite alright." He soothed, patting my hair down. "How would you like a treat, hmm?"

"What would that be?" This was odd…

"You'll have to find out in, oh, a day or so, alright?" He asked, patting my head. I looked skeptically up to him, with a stern expression.

"What are you getting at, Alexander?" I asked coldly. A bleak smile grew on his face into my hair, and he just laughed lightly.

"You'll find out soon, I told you. Patience is a virtue."

Patience most definitely is _not_ a virtue. So children, never listen to parents when that damn saying comes around. I've been waiting too long for something different to roll around and now I've just been told to wait. How _wrong_ is that?

I couldn't help but start to guess at what this "treat" may be. Human blood... I sighed, thinking of that lowly subject, what it must taste like. Alexander told me that once you start drinking that elixir, it is extremely hard to stop until the heart does. He told me many are skilled to stop in a way to create a vampire, but there usually isn't enough blood to even go through with the process for the heart must resume beating. Perhaps I was going to be able to try it. Of course, I've already had my chance. I could have turned around and killed the bleeding man in the slums in London. Or maybe I could have found a few other humans and bit into their necks and split them as easy as a toothpick. But I knew otherwise for I wasn't going to take a life. And I most _definitely_ wasn't going to take one now. Maybe it wasn't my choice.

For one thing, Victoria and Alexander knew I was lonely, that I wasn't fulfilling any life I had. They were just discussing that, were they not? Could it be someone else to take care of that large problem? My eyes widened, dropping my book onto the ground. But—the only way I could possibly get to know anyone without myself being a threat to their very lives would be if they're a vampire… meaning Victoria or Alexander would kill in order for me not be alone… The idea was probably the single most selfish thing I could think of! That wouldn't be fair!

"Violet, are you alright?" Victoria asked, knocking lightly on my door.

"Yes, I'm quite fine!" I lied easily, falling back onto the band, my eyes still wide. Why would they _do_ that? It was insane! I can't tell them I've figured out… it might not be so. It could be another vampire already made and all… I kept telling myself that, at least. It kept my mind off of it.

The next normal, straightforward day, was just what I had feared if not fantasized over for the last twenty years as well. I stayed in my room, hardly able to even move. I was horrified of my nature as if it was my shadow and everything seemed to make me jump if not go into hysterics.

"Violet!" Alexander boomed, hearing the door crash open suddenly, and I shuddered. Even his _voice_ made me jump. He seemed exasperated, "Violet, can you come down here?" He asked.

Immediately I bounced out of my chair and ran down the stairs, but stopped in my tracks when the _scent_ hit me like a back hand being slapped across my face. Then, came the burning for it was evidently fresh blood that is already revealed.

"Oh, my God," My own voice seethed out through my teeth. There, on the couch, lay a boy, and on his chest was gushing blood from a singular flesh wound. My eyes were peeled onto it idly and then harshly toward Victoria who was cringing against Alexander who seemed firm and with a strange expression.

"Why is he here?" I managed to spit out through my clenched teeth. Alexander looked at me with a strange, stressed look, and somehow was able to breathe in the impenetrable stench of blood.

"I saved him for you, Violet." He replied.

"For what, a meal?" I spat at Alexander and Victoria clenched her hand around his arm even tighter. My hands were tied behind my back as if I was arrested from taking the boy and sucking him dry. My throat burned like a hot summer day in the desert, my veins were being pulled, and my eyes began to cause me a horrible headache. Something like feeling the death that was already inside you, just waiting to eat you alive.

"Violet, you must learn control and ignore it. This is how I will teach you." As he said that, the boy groaned another time. Still with my hand encasing my nose, I shook my head in protest.

"Do it for yourself, Violet. Change him, and you won't be lonely anymore. It's either that, or he dies of this natural cause," Alexander pleaded with me. But I still couldn't see damning someone else to this life of hell.

"No!" I spat out again, exasperated.

"I'll force you if I must!" Victoria all but screeched, seeming tired herself. I had to back off… never before have I seen Victoria so out of control… but human blood triggers the animal that is repeatedly caged inside, and so the frenzy begins. The shame is that it wasn't exactly the real Victoria speaking to me, it was the vampire Victoria. And yet, questionably enough, my monster is slowly clawing its way out…

Looking back over to the boy, whose heart is now slowing at an exponential rate, I sighed. He was handsome, the blood literally singing to me, seductively beckoning me to come closer and be its lover. An accidental gasp of air shot through my lungs, and I found myself already next to the black-haired boy, breathing it in, looking at him as if he was filet minon professionally served on my dish. I could sense the burning stare of Victoria and Alexander coming onto my back, as I all but licked the blood off of his damaged chest.

If the boy had enough strength, he would probably be trying to fight me off, but of course, that wasn't humanly possible.

There was no choice for me now, though, I couldn't fight the monster, and it was too strong. Yet, I couldn't entirely immerse myself in it. He was groaning even worse now, causing the heart to speed up just a tad. I bent over him, eying his neck idly, the line of the vein neatly sketched out on his neck, just waiting for me to dig in with my teeth. I kissed it, lovingly, my lips pursed, and I could feel my teeth becoming more like razors, all of them. Something like a little more than twenty large needles breaking into your skin, although it's not visible enough that a human could witness the change once fretted off. The gentle kiss turned into a bite and it was as if a surge of electricity shot through my veins, more so than ever.

The blood came into my mouth sweeter than life itself, even more immaculate then seeing things as if with a third eye, and better than the speed and velocity of running through a forest, worried of nothing, the wind blowing in my hair. I could actually feel a heartbeat under my lips, and I could savor it without turning back and sucking him dry so that this sensation is no more. I could stop at will, and succeed in the purpose of this wonderfully. Or, I could increase the life in me, teaching me the dark ways of life instead of actually living it. And I chose the success.

I felt something grab my arms harshly, pulling me away even if my teeth were still dug into the neck. It grabbed me and threw me away onto the other side of the room, landing with a large crash onto the wood.

"Remember yourself, Violet, remember who you are." A female voice implied. I hissed back at the source of the voice, baring my teeth at it. I tried to run back to the blood, my vision nothing but a blur. It held my hands behind my back as I resumed fighting it off by kicking and hissing as my vision became restored from seeing nothing but the beating heart, the veins, but now, back to the world. Once Victoria let go of my hands I fell onto the floor, worn out from the brawl, breathing heavily, my mouth still smeared with the thick, red, and delicious liquid. I cleaned it with my hand and then licked the hand, getting the last taste of the cold stuff.

I sat up, taking roll-call of the room, seeing if I hurt anyone else, but they were good enough to stare at me as if I was a science experiment. Backing away, my brows knit tensely together, I seemed to let out a forsaken moan.

"How could you…?" I asked, sobbing dryly.

"You see what you have learned, Violet? You didn't want to do it, yet, you stopped yourself, and I applaud you." Alexander smiled triumphantly at his wife who grimaced back, and gave a fake smile. I remained with the same frown plastered on my face, about to run him over again.

"Must it be at this cost?" I hissed acidly back at them.

"He was about to _die_, love." Alexander rebelled, seeing his wife's concerned expression because of my irritable discomfort. A long, stretched-out moan escaped the lips of the boy who was lying on the sofa. The venom that acts as blood for me was now in his veins, and he could now start feeling the effects of it. As it now travels through his veins, it will soon travel to his heart and then, finally, stop it forever. And eternally, he would be a vampire just like Victoria, Alexander, I, and the other entire percentage of the world who carries this burden with them wherever we go.

"So was I. And yet, here I am wishing for my life back. Not everyone is sculpted out for this life, Alexander. Who are we to judge who shall live and who shall die?" I argued, gathering my skirts which were all in an inappropriate measure. I dragged myself over to the screaming boy. He didn't look much older than me, if not my own physical age. His black hair distraught and his chest moving up and down faster each second. The clothes he wore weren't enough to even be considered clothes. I knelt down over him without his noticing in fear he might scream louder, brushing back his hair, feeling his excessively warm skin soon turn cold.

"I am _so_ sorry…" I whispered in his ear, looking over the crescent scar on his neck that had been left from my teeth. It was becoming healed because of the venom. Comparing my small, pale hand to his larger, more masculine body that was tan from the sun and burnt in some places, I felt a little over-excited. Soon, he'll be stronger than I. _My creation,_ my venom, my love. The tie would bend us closer to one another as one did a parent. And he would rely on me just as I relied on Victoria. I smiled to myself, trying hard not to reveal my teeth.

"Alexander, what had happened to him?" I questioned on a lighter note.

"A homeless man just happened upon his gun and threatened to shoot him for his money whilst I was on a stroll through the town. Unfortunately, I did not make it in time to save him from the shooting, and it hit right in his chest near his heart. I knew he could have his heart beating for just a little while longer and soon I could save him from never dying. And I thought of you." He explained, uncertain of what else to say.

"He'll hate me after this," I sighed.

"Not if he doesn't know you're the one who bit him, Violet. It's possible to start clean, you know." Alexander added.

"He hears us right now." I chided, crossing my arms.

"He's unconscious." Victoria said, looking over to him, his face distorted from the pain, but his eyes were the only peaceful things.

"Why don't you catch a rabbit for him? He would appreciate that to begin with." Victoria asked, looking over to me now.

"He'll want more." I pouted, exasperated.

"But you will be the fountain of youth in his eyes." He chided after another one of the boy's cries, now begging for me to kill him. I glared at Alexander, thinking it through thoroughly. I wouldn't be lonely again, for one. He'd be my child, begging for me to teach him life. Although this was wrong in many ways, the selfish brat in me demanded him for myself.

"What if things go wrong?" I pondered aloud.

"He'll forget it. You don't remember the basics of a newborn vampire, daughter. We are naturally easily distracted. With the senses of all of the predators alive, and the endless longing for blood, it's impossible to pay attention to the trivial bonds that were shared in life. Which is why most of your memory is gone. You've told me you don't know the name of the vampire who changed you. And you do not need to know just yet, but you'll remember in time." He explained like a professor giving a lecture on the mythical creatures.

I looked from Alexander to the boy on the couch, my brows knit closely together, not able to even think anymore.

"I don't even know his name." I sighed as my last point to make.

"His name is Nicholas," Victoria answered, "The banker's son, and one of the most powerful households in London."

"Won't they send out searches?"

"We are going to move soon anyway. People are already becoming suspicious of age. You can't pass for anything over twenty-five, and Victoria and I have been through too many generations for humans to not notice."

"But… I love it here. This _is_ my home, just as it has always been…" I sighed, squinting my eyes into the sunlight that dimly shown through the velvet curtains to the large city that was alive down below.

"We will come back soon. Just until the generations die off, and we're keeping the mansion." Victoria remembered. "We'll go global, just as your father did. Perhaps into the new world and join up with another coven to go there." She seemed enlightened at the thought, after shutting the door to the living room, the boy's cries still coming through the walls, terrifying me to no end.

"I don't know if I can stand this much longer," I sighed, trying to block my ears, except with the fault of my acute hearing, even with my hand attempting to block it, I could still hear it loud and clear.

"Then do as I said." Alexander shooed me away, but my feet couldn't move. "Go!" He demanded impatiently. I ran out of the house in a split second, out to the thick forest, attempting to encase myself in the beauty of the sun, but failed miserably. The sun wasn't exactly my favorite thing. As I found out later on in time, sunglasses came in definite use.

The animals were running from me as I ran. Their little feet running over twigs, snapping them, were making themselves more known to me. A deer was clear to me, and I thought it a perfect catch. Grabbing its neck before it could even think about running, digging my teeth through its neck to tranquilize it until it could be of use for Nicholas. _Nicholas_. What a fine name. _Violet_ and Nicholas… they sounded amazing right next to each other like that. They suited each other.

I picked up the deer cradling its limp body in my arms and I began walking back. The screams were lessoning, becoming less violent. He must be unconscious again. The blood might be cold when he wakes up. I sighed, looking down to the deer, feeling its temperature go down. I dug my teeth back into where I bit down before, and began to feed just until the heart stopped beating.

"Sorry little one…" I sighed throwing the carcass under a bush. A tree off in the distance had fallen, making a nice seat for me for now. I laid my body across it, just under some shade so I didn't have to harm my tender eyes from the sun. I just had to stop time for a while, laying here. I wondered what it was going to be like to sleep again. Would it be peaceful or filled with nightmares of just what I've become? Would I even dream at all just to get away from the horrors of today? I shut my eyes, holding them down, and already began to feel restless. The only image I could see was Nicholas' face grimacing in pain after I bit him. I opened my eyes back up immediately, giving up quickly. What have I done…?

I got back about two hours later with another limp deer in my hands just waiting to die. My guilt had to be consumed by the thirst I had for the blood I was boldly giving to someone else. The deer was placed on the ground in the backyard on a tree stump. The screaming had stopped for now. Either the change had been made or he's sleeping once more.

When I stepped into the house, I heard his actual voice for the first time. Not screaming, or grimacing, or anything bad, but it was normal. And it was _beautiful_. I fell in love with it just like that.

"Hello Nicholas." I said softly, moving toward him slowly, just to see his reaction.

"Violet, don't scare him now," Alexander warned.

"Why would I scare him?" I asked, giving him a stern glare, and he only looked past me to Nicholas' expression.

"Don't be frightened." I whispered carefully.

"What is wrong with me?" He cried brokenly, looking at himself in the small mirror, mainly into his own eyes which were a bright crimson.

"Nothing is wrong with you, it's all changed. We saved you from dying and now you are one of us." I explained carefully, not to mention any specifics.

"And what am I, exactly?" He asked, as if frightened by his own shadow already.

"We are the living dead, the most powerful of beings. We live eternally and we feed off of life itself. It's what you are now, as well," I explained softly.

"So am I in heaven, or is this hell? Can you not be more specific?" He encouraged impatiently.

"Don't be frightened, child," Alexander started, "You are still here on earth, except you are no longer human as you've probably already guessed. I saved you from being killed at the point of a gun. You are a vampire now." He explained better than I could have the courage to.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" He accused, disgusted. We didn't have an answer for that. He remembered something with me included, for he was staring at me with a grimace. I turned to look at Alexander who was behind me. He looked back down to me with a trivial look to his features as if he expected me to say something.

"This life is much better than being a human," I tried, yet he didn't seem convinced. "You must be thirsty, though." I immediately moved onto another subject.

"Is that what it is, then? My throat hurts like it's burning up." He considered, instantly distracted with something else. I smiled smugly and lead him to the backyard, the sun already gone out of the sky.

"I caught you something," I smiled brightly, as I gathered the deer into my arms again, and set it down before him. "Watch me first, and then you can try." I leaned down to the animal, and bit into its neck once more, only taking a little blood before handing it over to Nicholas. "Drink," I whispered he looked back in disgust. "You don't want to go thirsty, do you?" I asked, and he shook his head. He bent over it, staring at my bite mark idly, seeing the blood gush out of it. He was hesitant but I made his head go further down toward the neck. He tenderly bit into it, sucking dry faster and faster until the heart stopped for good.

When he finished, he rose up and stared at me, his eyes alight with lust and his eyes were already beginning to darken.

"More!" He demanded anxiously. I shook my head and laughed for his face looked as if he just was finished eating red berries, covered in red. I wiped it with my finger, and licked the blood off of that. He seemed entirely astounded about everything I was doing. _Success_ was the word that consistently repeated in my head.

"Follow your senses and find another animal. _Try_ to be cleaner, dear. Your shirt is already stained enough." I sounded like Victoria now… which is what comes from living with a motherly vampire for the last twenty years. He instantly ran off into the woods, already finding some other animal.

"I'm proud, dear." Victoria said somehow already behind me. "You did it without fear of harming anything, I congratulate you." She said, pressing my head onto her chest and smiled. I wrapped my arms around her as well.

"Now, it's only a matter of time." I whispered.

"He'll love you no matter what. I don't see anyone not loving you for you are such a charming girl. Attracting him would be easy." She confided sweetly.

"I wouldn't be so sure… I am, after all, a vampire."

"And so is he." She nodded.

"Do you really think so? Such a rebellion he is, though. Did you see the way he looked at me when mentioning about his own death? He must remember _something_."

"He doesn't," She replied, sighing, seeming slightly annoyed.

"How would you know?" I questioned.

"Because… I'm your mother," She started, lifting her chin up, a smile playing at her lips, "and I know these things."

I immediately wrapped my arms tighter around her waist. "A mother that every little girl would absolutely die to have."

"Your words are too true." She shrugged, "I think they would have to exactly die to necessarily have me as a mother." I giggled at the dark humor as Nicholas came back, his mouth smothered in the red stuff. "Now it's your turn," whispered Victoria, patting my back, "teach him our life."


	4. Burns

_Chapter 4:_

_Burns_

Nicholas, I have decided, is the light of my life. His naïve assumptions are probably the most flattering thing, his sarcastic remarks, and witty behavior charming me without end. It was cruel, really, thinking newborn vampires are the only beings that actually make me feel better with myself. Increasingly stupid and perfectly reasonable in my mind. Yet again, you probably really do not want to know my mind to begin with, so don't try.

Moving was the only thing that his light could not dissolve. I was going to leave my home. The beautiful and social country that I've grown to love my entire life I was now being forced to leave. Where my family was, my home, the mansion that I knew like the back of my hand, it was going to be gone. And now, it will be replaced with the world under my feet.

I have had to clarify for myself how much _good_ this will bring. If I was still human, I would never see past the Opera House walls if the same career pursued. My father would have never come to retrieve me, my mother is never coming back to life. What is left for me in England besides the ashes that will never conjure up another fire, so why try to burn it?

Joy lightened my smile as I looked at one of the books I held in my hand. Charles Dickens was the author, one who would usually write about London… how I would love hearing about Oliver Twist, or Ebenezer Scrooge and the three ghosts. How terrifying it may be, looking back to the past, and then your future. I don't think I would like to know my future.

"Knock, knock," Nicholas' voice seemed to smile from behind me. I turned around and wrapped my arms around him from his waist to grab him in surprise.

"Did you have a good hunt, love?" I asked, pressing face into his chest.

"I don't think I will miss the overwhelming amount of deer." He huffed, running his finger through my hair.

"I'll miss this home. I don't think I'll get the design of this room just right again… And I don't think I will have a better window, either." I sighed, dropping the book into the bag.

"How will you travel with all these things? The boat will not possibly hold all of this." He noted, looking over my line of things behind us. I smirked… I never thought of that.

"They'll find a way… for me." I smiled flirtatiously, literally jumping up and down, suddenly ecstatic about it all, my skirts only flowing slowly from behind.

"And all your dresses," He noted looking pointedly at my closet, which still had quite a few things in there.

"Oh," was my reply. "I will make a few once we are in America. I don't see anything holding me back." I replied, and lifted my chin, "The men will have enough of an eye of me. They don't need much more to judge."

"So ambitious," He replied.

I giggled and nodded, "So I am."

"Victoria wouldn't approve."

"She'll get over it." I said, shrugging it off.

"So stubborn," He said once more, nearing me. I nodded slowly, as his arms came up above my shoulders.

"Yes," I nodded, inhaling his scent, filling my every desire in a slow second.

"Violet," He began.

"Yes?"

"What do you want most out of this? What do you long for? I do not understand one aspect of you what-so-ever." He seemed rather pleased with himself already for grabbing my attention. I looked up to the ceiling, my hands behind my back, tying tensely together. _To be happy forever. To forget everything I've lost. To really understand this life. To see the world. _There were things that he did not need to know. Things that if he did know, our relationship could break and shatter, for I have learned this with him. He does not remember me changing him at all, after questioning him a few times. But he could take anything personally, like using dark humor. It is things in you that do grow once you become accustom to them. He does not understand the laughable subject of death, for we shall never experience it. I believe he does not entirely grasp that matter yet and for that, I pity him.

"I want to live again. I would like so ever dearly to stop weeping over my shallow past."I stared blankly past him as I gathered those words together.

"And you'll find peace elsewhere?" He chided, looking at me curiously.

"I believe so." I nodded slowly and blinked. Shaking my head, I looked back to Nicholas after a few seconds and cocked my head to the side and asked ever so sweetly, "Could you be a darling and help me carry these bags of mine out to the carriage?"

"Anything," He replied as if the past few minutes never happened. I let him carry my larger luggage and trotted along in front of him for he was, after all, a gentleman, vampire or not.

Alexander watched dutifully and with a slight comical reaction as we passed, Nicholas pulling the bags into the carriage as I casually stepped aside, crossing my arms.

"Lazy, are we?" He questioned, laughing under his breath. I tilted my head up, and looked away.

"Weak at heart, not strength, silly man," I breathed back sincerely, not seeing how any of this was funny. He rolled his eyes and strode back into the empty mansion for a final once-over.

It was going to be a few decades or so until we come to this mansion once more. The generations of today will have to empty their minds of the strange family that that took stay in one of the largest mansions in London, right next to the Westminster palace itself. Not to mention one of the richest families, but I won't go into detail.

In those times of harder ways to get around, by taking boats across the seas, traveling would take months instead of hours. It was probably a more fulfilling way of getting around, I think. In my life, one of the best of times is when we are in open sea and the sun is just about to completely immerse itself into the water. These are the times when my family can actually live again, instead of being stuck in the cabin the entire time. We would thrill ourselves with Solitaire and card games that Alexander has been taught for years from different parts of the globe. Victoria and Alexander would tell Nicholas and I stories of their human lives, and their first years. Alexander would often name people whose names are in modern day's history books still. He would tell us the history of the church, how it affected himself. All of it was knowledge that can only be taken in from the right creatures.

Victoria's story was not as drawn out as Alexander's. Her entire human life, meaning all twenty- one years of it, was a blur. Alexander would tell us that he met Victoria when visiting one of the noble counts in London, in the year 1650. He basically loved her, and from his story, she was dying of the plague that was already wiping out most of the population. Obviously, Alexander wasn't going to let that happen to someone he actually had feelings for, so, with all the compassion in his heart, he killed her to save her. And that basically happened with just about every one of the vampire population (the number is kind of overwhelming in my book). The vampire who would change another would obviously have a reason for stopping the easy death. If they did not, most of them would die.

Over about a year or so, we finally were settled in America, the new world, of new things to see, places to go. We stayed in the state of Maine, which was just brushing against Canada. It was a lovely place, filled with lots of greenery. The population was quite low compared to many other renowned states, and it was perfect. Evergreen trees surrounded just about everywhere, and the ocean breeze would carry into our smaller home. It was something new, something different. I just knew a London brat like myself wouldn't last long in the die-hard country of the United States.

I enjoyed watching Nicholas change over the years. He became wiser and less adorably naïve, yet kept the charming traits at hand. He went to school in the United States, learning things from the greatest teachers of this era. I only tutored him, acting as the conscience in the back of his head, possibly nagging, in everything he does. My selfish side kept thinking horrible things about the human girls who would give him a second glance. I taught him music, or re-taught, whichever he could remember, I didn't know. I gave him piano lessons on the sunny days on our grand piano we bought a decade or so after we moved here. We were like brother and sister, one not so much older than the other, nagging each other, and then complimenting minutes afterward. He would kiss my cheek, as I would peck at his, but it wasn't something I hoped for.

No matter how sweet he was, something was missing. We weren't _really_ meant for each other. And with that, the bottom of my stomach seemed to drop in regret. Of course I needed a companion, someone to busy myself with for eternity. But it was nothing more than that.

I wasn't satisfied.

I _had_ to try harder, to get deeper, to have my senses completely fulfilled. Despite how awkward it was, there had to be a way to get around it. Am I ugly? Was there something _unattractive_ about me? Men certainly did not think so. At least one eye was on me of any man at any time I step into a room. I knew I was beautiful, but was I really? I had no grasp at what I was, and what I can make of myself over these years, but does that affect other peoples' vision of me? How does that matter?

I was wise, as told by Alexander (but who may we trust here? No, sanity does not count), I had to have the facts down at once. And the only unfortunate part was, I could not read Nicholas what-so-ever. Having to ask him directly was hell… How in the world do you politely ask, "Am I ugly"? There is none… exactly!

"Am I ugly to you?" I suddenly asked at that same moment I thought of that last sentence. He looked down to me, his golden eyes smoldering even for me, knocking even _me_ breathless. He was _adorable_! Dark, ambitious, beautiful, respectful… something I looked for in a man.

"What kind of question is that?" He sneered. Just what I feared…

"A question of self-reassurance, and I kindly ask an answer. _Please_." I said, straightening my shoulders with fake-confidence.

"Shouldn't a dominant girl like you know her own head on her shoulders?"

"But I'm not just a girl. I'm not even human. I don't know why I'm still living. And I ask you again, my dear brother, am I ugly to you?"

"Depends on what you define the term ugly." He simply stated, reaching for something behind me.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked cautiously, straightening my back.

"By your appearance, or by personality?"

"I'm not sure." I shook my head, looking to my hands, already feeling off of it. His hand came under my chin, leading my head up, to look at him straight into his eyes. They had an unnatural reddish gleam to them, and it deeply disturbed me. He was hiding something.

"You're a dark angel, Violet. Beautiful in the night, and something different in the day and your music is something mortals will die over. What I see in you on the inside is something strange. Something that nobody could read, as if you have your own code and your voice only gives away few hints. You're not ugly, at all. That is, by what you see yourself, and what others perceive. I see it in your eyes the selfishness, the hiding… it's darkly beautiful. But something that leads me elsewhere. Why must you ask?"He stuttered the last sentence. I pulled back one small piece of hair behind my ear, and smiled to myself, feeling stupid… Why _his _opinion?

"So you don't think… you know… that…" I paused, breathing an awkward laugh, "You don't think I'm… bad?" I felt like I was a child.

He just laughed and shook his head, making me shrink away, crossing my arms against my chest again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked making me feel even worse.

"Am I something else? Selfish, cruel…?"

"Why would I say that?" He seemed offended again, by my accusation on his side, he came even closer, his arms coming over my shoulders, holding my back firmly against his chest.

"I don't know. It's just that, despite everything, I love you. I need to know how you feel back, and I really sound dumb right now, and if you could just come in at any time, that would be astounding…"

"How do you love me?" He asked, as if going somewhere distant with his voice.

"It would be like something a little over the love of a sibling. I need someone else, you don't understand. I'm hollow and lonely, and I don't even _know_ what I get myself into anymore. I love you more than a brother, I need to know if you love me back?" I said that like a question, my voice becoming higher and higher until I was almost singing a high C. He held his breath, it seemed, as he thought about it.

"I'm not sure yet, dear," he whispered just barely audible as he pulled away from me. I didn't know what I did then, I couldn't tell. I stopped breathing or moving, I just stayed still in the same position as he walked out of the room.

"What?" I breathed brokenly, turning around. I threw myself back toward him suddenly, grabbing his wrists, holding them tighter than he'd be able to pull away. "_Please_," I said without thought at all. "_You don't understand,_" I cried, putting my head against his chest, sobbing without any tears, I wrapped my arms around him, "my light, my angel, do you not see?"

"_Violet_…" he whispered, sounding concerned.

"I don't know if it's the connection, I don't know what it is…" I moaned.

"What _connection_?"

I heaved a deep breath, my eyes wide. Of course…I said too much. Was it worth everything? To give up the secret that could possibly make him hate me forever, for him to hold up a burden of not knowing seemed like hell to me. I had to tell him, to tell him that I loved him and I saved his life and now I could forever be with him. We would suffer together and die together. I could be the most devote partner he could ever wish for.

"I need to tell you something," I replied with decision.

"Yes?" He said impatiently.

"You don't know who made you the way you are, correct?" I asked, my fingers ruffling my skirts nervously. I tilted my chin up, straightening my back and let go of him and stepped away.

"No," He simply answered.

"I don't either, actually, Nicholas. But it hurts, not knowing who damned me to this hell. Before you came, it was horrible. Knowing I had a hole right through me, as if someone shot at me and it kind of hung there. But I need to tell you something that I never got to know. You should know, despite what I'm about to tell you… I _need you so much_... You don't understand how desperate I am."

"Tell me, Violet…" He ignored my plea.

"_I_ made you. I have a part of you and you have a part of me. _That's_ the connection… don't you see…?" I covered my mouth, backing off one step. "I am sorry for this."

He didn't say anything, his hands clenched so tightly together that they were whiter than they already were. He seemed mad, about to lash out at me. I prayed to whoever was out there… that he wouldn't kill me. Not _me_. Why _me_?

"I saw something in you, a light, even if you were about to die." I explained hurriedly before he would completely turn his back. "I saved you from dying an early death, and I couldn't let you die. You _must_ understand, Nicholas!" From my peripheral vision stood Victoria still as cold stone on the balcony, overlooking the entire thing with an unreadable expression. Nicholas stared at me with hate-filled eyes, his mouth open as if to say something, but not able to.

This entire thing was a mistake… I went wrong, I knew it. I should have stuck with the lie-I should have! Oh, woe to the souls who cannot choose the right path to turn, woe to me who is damned, if not already. The silence was maddening, burning right through me. Why did I just do that? "I am so sorry," I had to repeat a few hundred times more.

"Of course you are," He grunted coldly, "and I hate you all." With that, he turned to leave and started to quickly head for the front door when Victoria finally stepped in, gracefully leaping over the balcony, with all of her motherly nature, trying to restrain her son. My room wasn't welcoming currently, not the exact peace I withheld in London, not the same perfect view, not as large of a library. My piano was sharp, as well. From my own view, everything seemed to ward me off as if to say _now you done it_! I curtained my face with my hair so he wouldn't see me, so no one could see me…

Everything hurt, burned, as I dragged myself up the stairs, my arms across my chest as if that would hold myself together and not fall into pieces. I went into my room slowly, shutting the door behind me. I got a match ready, and lit a few of the candles around, opening the curtain to reveal the moon casting an eerie blue glow on the evergreen trees around.

_You need to get out of here_, a voice whispered inside my head, as I looked at the fall downwards. I took the thought for granted, and unlatched the window, opening it noisily, the wall seeming to shiver. I looked back to my room, and breathed in, than out. I took off my top skirt, leaving the under layer and my corset on. Nobody would see me anyway. If they did I'd have to kill them. I came to a cat-like position on my feet at the edge of the window.

I rose slightly upwards, and then shut my eyes, wary for a second for it was the first time to jump from a high landing (it would be unladylike otherwise and sort of out-there). I seemed to take a step out, and then, without a final thought, I jumped.


	5. Risks

_Chapter 5:_

_Risks_

Nicholas left the house yesterday for Victoria's talk with him wasn't helpful. She came up to my room again, to comfort me and tell me that he most likely will come back. She said he knows too little of the world to even survive as a vampire. I knew myself that he is wise enough that he could make it out there. But I had a feeling he would come back. The smile he would give me, it was too warm to be easily erased by a secret, he's better than that. At least, I like to think that. The poor boy… he deserves better than me. I knew that.

An entire week passed by, and Alexander was worried about Victoria who was panicking that he might not come back. _I _even had to assure her, even though it was probably not going to happen, that he would return to us. Alexander promised that we would conduct a search, but I would have to lead it because I must apologize. I didn't have it in me, however, so I was the one to hold the search back for an awful while.

I had hardly any connections to the outer world here in America. There were few vampire covens that would stop by now and then that we would meet on the various hunts. They would stay for days at a time, seeming enthralled to meet other civilized people of their own kind, even though they might not necessarily be themselves. Though I must note, nomads are probably the most interesting vampires you could ever meet. They could be centuries old, roaming this world by foot, and never stopping until they see fit, but only temporarily. They have so much to see, so much to tell you. Most of the time, I would speak with them and ask them to tell me stories and such and they would gleefully tell me of the days before my time. It was a wonder to know one of the vampires I've met were Native American and have been on this land far longer than the colonists.

Of course, with the splendor in this new land, there was nobody to share it with… again. Nicholas hadn't shown up after another entire year passed. Victoria seemed to slowly give up, and Alexander would lead her away from such thoughts. I refused to go out searching, still trusting my own theory.

The people of the town were insanely into the entire religious fiasco. Catholicism was probably the most dominant thing in the New England states off the east coast. And of course… this was a bad thing. It's not like I'm running away from a crucifix, but it would have to be the people that become suspicious.

It was actually something like the Salem witch trials, to be precise. After hearing of them years before, my coven's appearance worried me more than ever. With the fact that Christianity was hard on the run, we hid even more than we already were. Three beautiful people who only come out at night seemed to catch the small town's attention for some odd reason. This was bad.

Things only became worse the following year, with a wandering eye, "friends" of ours would stir up some sort of epiphany that I hardly ever grow, and Victoria and Alexander never change. Once they invited us over for dinner, our refusal seemed to fluster them. I wasn't about to scoff down food only to puke it out later _again_. Not when times like these, it shouldn't matter. The family was young, no doubt, and very high up on the social status with their riches. But not as much as we are, which doesn't say very much.

There was a time, eventually, that this family eventually noticed our actual difference. They most likely didn't seem to think of us as vampires to begin with, for it wouldn't be my first guess anyway. But most likely something the devil created. Alexander gave Victoria the warning that we must move away before more people seem to become more suspicious than they already.

They bickered on, and as their voices rose, a strange knot in my chest did as well. I gripped the book into my chest. Selfish anger bubbled up, like acid coming up my stomach, rising further and further up. I growled in a low rumble, never before have I hated something so directly like this before.

"Kill them!" I hissed through my clenched teeth, my book dropping suddenly to the floor.

"Most certainly not," Victoria shook her head from across the room, aghast by my dreadful decision.

"It wouldn't be too hard! We can cover it up with disease, a chemical poison! Just get rid of those damned humans so we can _live_… I'm tired of hiding!" I cried out resisting the urge to throw something more, or run out now and shoot them down with a quiet peace.

"Terrible idea, Violet," Alexander huffed, seeming ill of my twisted ideas that I've been concocting. There was no way I was going to move after just 5 years! That wasn't fair!

"I am not moving." I said with decision, "either they keep their mouths shut or die."

"That is shallow-minded of you. There's so much more to this country than here." Alexander murmured, looking through his atlas put out on his desk and pointed to a place in the far left corner. "This is just being settled, and the population is little. We could finance a town, you see," He explained calmly, and then pointed to a place further into the country, near Spanish territory. "Here would be an interesting climate change, and it is open and flat."

"I enjoy trees, I'm sorry. They make life much easier." I shook my head, my hand coming to my chin as I looked over the map curiously, my hand outlining the newer states. "I still don't enjoy this moving…"

"You must get over moving, though. There will be times like this," Alexander sniffed, and then his eyes journeyed to another time as he looked over to Victoria, "We have once suffered through a misunderstanding at one point. Victoria and I were far too uncaring about ourselves, walking along the edge, hand-in-hand. The mortals became suspicious, and furthermore curious. They burned our house down while we were away for a night to the world, and we came home to nearly ashes. Do you understand now? If you value our safety, you _will_ move with us."

I looked at him, my eyes wide. I never could see Alexander that care-free, and having belongings disappear, it's a bit more horrible then losing things as a mortal.

"You recovered many things, though." I noted, shrugging it off.

"It is not the same thing, love." He huffed, scolding me, disapproving. I frowned, finding myself even worse than I already was.

"Forgive me," I sighed, "I don't know what got into me."

"Yes, it is fine," Alexander replied, his hands resting upon my shoulders in a kind gesture. He clasped his arms around me and kissed my cheek like a father and I smiled. "That is why I love you, you know."

"I do not see any reason someone can love a wretch like me."

"I see many reasons," I felt him shrug and waited patiently for him to explain.

"For one, you're the most beautiful daughter a father could ever wish to have." I blinked a few times and waited further, "I love you because everything you do has purpose, the most radiant light I have ever seen, and no other father could be as proud as I am."

"Do you really see that?" I asked, as he came to my eye level, his arms still on my shoulders, and his bright, translucent, golden eyes looked right through me like a specific fire no other being is made to obtain met with mine. I was proud to call him my father and my guide, without any thought of my actual father. He could be in hell for all I care, and I would be perfectly fine with Alexander, and him having me in his arms.

"Of course I see that. Victoria sees the same thing, I know."

"I'm not sure any other being could stand me as you two would." I smiled.

"That's my girl." He smiled and kissed my cheek again. The youngest father one could ever have, since he is only twenty. But he never had an actual daughter, so I could see where this longing is coming from, as well.

"What is to happen now?" I asked as he rose to his regular height and looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"Now we must wait," he confided, nodding his head as is reassuring his current train of thought.

"Wait how long though? Wait until they make their first move against us?"

"As long as you can trust me, I will decide how long."

"Of course I trust you," I murmured confidently, "That trust will never fade despite anything throughout these many years. I can never set anything against you."

"Nothing, you say?" He asked, tilting his head to the side teasingly.

"You know that."

"Do you want for me to tell you your own secret? What you never wanted to tell pitiful Nicholas?" He asked me, walking toward his desk again, and a pale hand resting just above the map on the desk. I looked at him with large, wondering eyes.

"It wasn't you. I know that. You would have never done that."

"I prevented him from killing you, Violet." He said in a deeper tone, looking at me with firm eyes. "That is what you need to know to begin with. He was plotting out your death as you went on living with an admiration of him. I was too late to save you entirely, my love. Victoria was contrary to the entire thing, yetI watched you and your potential, and you were never set to die just then."

"Who was going to kill me?" I asked with a cold, demanding voice, patiently waiting.

"Now is not the time to know." His head seemed to sag down, obviously disappointed.

"I don't see myself dead. Buried in the ground without any sort of resignation, I can't see me without a life in any way."

"Are you happy here? With us? Being one of the damned."

"The object is to keep living," I shrugged, "There is nothing _damned_ about it if you don't die." I paused a second, "Why can't I know my murderer?"

"Why else did Nicholas leave us?"

"He didn't want to be here." I answered without any sort of thought, "He didn't want to see his murderer, of course."

"Wrong. There's a type of guilt that overcomes us all with our own creator. Questions that are not normally able to be answered which is why most vampires do not come to know their creator. They eventually learn to ignore it."

"You think he will come back?"

"Yes, he will come back because he will come over it. You, unfortunately, are not capable of such easy recoil. I fear you might go hunt him down with all force possible at the knowledge of his name. I know that your personal memories are too harsh to look at with the very thought of your creator, for he is a sick, masochistic vampire." Alexander shook his head thoughtfully, and looked up then over to me again. "He will find you eventually, and that I cannot stop."

"I can wait."

"Good girl." He nodded, and then turned to leave the room with a final graceful stride. I followed after him, with sinister thoughts invading instantly, though I did not want to think of them. I suppose all vampires hold a grudge… it's not just me. For once I do not feel alone.

We waited, as Alexander thought it best, and of course, Victoria and I relied on him to the ends of the earth, as we were like his own shadow in this new world. I found that the family no longer spoke to us as we passed on an evening stroll through the town as usual. It did not mean much, just something that we could become more cautious with. They would plan something to rebel against all of us; we will quickly flee the next morning. Alexander's plan was going to work, and we all remained silent until we would have to put it into use.

I was something like worried, my hands constantly shaking every time I go around and fix up the house dusting and sweeping like a good daughter, alone in the house because Victoria and Alexander decided to go out and feed together.

"You'll be fine," Victoria promised, of course. She always said that and it's not all the time I actually believed her. It was late, around midnight, and things grew a little eerie. Maybe it would sound strange… coming from a vampire, that things seem eerie, for eerie would define the vampire herself, I think one would say it if it's truly off-key.

There was a knock downstairs, and I was in the library upstairs, huddling near the fireplace with _Pride and Prejudice_ in my hands, being read for about the sixth time. I had just ran around the house with a broom, taking out carpet and replacing it, and now I had nothing to do for the activity took all but two minutes.

The knock was footsteps. Everything then dawned on me that someone was actually downstairs, someone that shouldn't be downstairs because Victoria and Alexander only left ten minutes ago, and they were going further than they usually go to. I had a theory that it may be Nicholas, but Nicholas' footsteps aren't as clumsy.

"Victoria? Alexander? Are you home?" I called out, staying in the library, the book still in my hands. There was no answer, only the sound of footsteps becoming louder and more near. You must understand… our mansion is huge. There's no way only I can guard the entire thing without being away from one place at a period of time, and only by instinct, I felt that the beings downstairs were human. Humans don't scare me. They can't kill me. But fire can.

I began walking down the grand staircase without turning on any lights, the moon glowing through the windows, providing hardly any light for the human, whoever it may be. I couldn't kill them, for that's how I've been taught, but how else will I handle it? My eyes are black as coal, as I can see from passing the mirror, my throat burns, and everything is weak. Yes, I was thirsty. It's just so convenient that there's a human in my home. Its heart fluttered like the beat of a bird's flapping wings, so quick that I could dance to it.

"Who's there?" I call out, fixing my eyes to the darkness, the slightest inch revealed of the being's body. Of course, there's no answer.

"Show yourself now or suffer," I mutter half to myself, and half to the other one. There's a movement behind the ebony chair. I could sense its fear. There was nothing in me that gave me an idea on what to do. My muscles pulled… as usual, and I wanted to know what the hell they were doing in my home.

"Get out. Now," I demanded, "if you have any idea what's good for you." Bad idea, I scolded myself, now they'll be suspicious of what I would do to harm them. Maybe scaring them away would be a good thing, they'll leave the town and never come back, but killing them would be more effective. There was no deciding any more. I wanted human blood again, it was something that screamed into my ear like nails on a chalkboard would grind, pulling me toward the sound of a heart beating precious blood through the veins.

I moved quickly, faster than they could see if they were watching, and came behind them at the chair, leaning on the wall casually, looking over the unfamiliar man that probably has came from this town that has been curious of my family. Perhaps killing him would ward them off, and we'll just leave without another word about it.

"What has brought you here, thief?" I question, cocking my head to the side, my arms crossed over my chest. There's a gasp as he turns around, dressed in dark, ragged clothing, possibly trying to be a thief, but I'm not taking chances. He looks at me strangely, like I was the devil incarnate, and slides through the small distance that there was from me to the chair. He was thinking of running… I smirked. I jumped up and landed in front of him easily, for I have never compared my skills to a human lately. I smiled ruefully, looking him over, for he wasn't about to answer.

"I-I was just…" he began stupidly; I laughed to myself, still crossing my arms.

"Y-you were just what? Trying to find out about my freak family? Were you curious as to invade our space, to commit a crime, and seek out truth? Is that what it is? Answer me!" I felt better, already. I waited a short second consisting of two heartbeats, and asked again, "Tell me if that is a lie or fact, sir."

"L-lie," He answered, shaking.

"Why, then, are you here, sir?" I asked, coming toward him so that his back was entirely on the wall, pressed against it, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"It's true! It's all true… stand back! I'm warning you!" he said, suddenly growing fake confidence, only a mask to make me feel intimidated by a man. I only shrugged it off, and put my hand out to his throat without thinking, it was rough, dirty, and disgusting. It doesn't matter. The blood is most likely not dirty. A pulse beat under my hand, pumping life that I don't have any longer.

"Please, please, don't hurt me!" he said like a little child, and it made me feel… amazing. My grip became tighter around his neck, as if taking revenge on what my father has once done to me, what the human race was against women, what the world has done to me… it was like running through a cool pond of water on a hot summer's day and you forget about any worries you had prior and focus on regenerating feeling period.

I bend back his head, revealing his jugular, the artery becoming more evident, like a blue bulge in the center. I couldn't refrain from anything, I bent my head down and bit into his neck, and from there I couldn't help but keep going. The life came into my body, licking my veins free of the ice and whatever has been stuck here forever and a day, bringing strength to me that I have never received before. A scream escaped his lips as I did this, but I quickly placed my hand over his mouth so there would be none of that. I felt his life pass into me, whatever he has done, a dim glimpse of his spouse's unfamiliar face, his children, his parents, his entire worthless life passing in the cradle of a vampire's arms.

His heart began to slow a little too quickly, I thought. I could not get enough of the immaculate life, the red gush passing through my lips. I backed away as soon as the heart was finished and wiped off my mouth, though my mouth remained open.

I was instantly ashamed… I had turned my back… on humanity… This was something that I never thought of losing quite quickly. I doubled over, my hand over my stomach, suddenly feeling sick of myself. What would Alexander think of me now? A weak vampire whose only self defense is to kill, not fight nor bother with it? Victoria's broken face is something that I am not used to enduring. Her sweet motherly figure out of proportion is like seeing the world end on its very own feet, twisting around and making everything strange. I couldn't believe it… I choked back a dry sob, almost overwhelmed by the guilt of killing another being. What a strange girl I am… I longed to kill and then weep over it later. I laughed as I sobbed which was an odd, throaty sound, as if someone was regurgitating. So very odd I am, after all. A moral vampire… that sounded rather funny saying it in my mind a few times over. I laughed again with a wry smile on my face, thinking of how stupid I look now.

Someone opened the front door with steady force, light footsteps, no heartbeat, cold aura. They were home, finally. I couldn't bring myself to my feet for something kept me to the floor with the bluish-looking corpse that was rather disgusting considering I had no idea who this man was. I hid my face in my hands, ashamed, my shoulders slumped and my feet uncomfortably underneath.

"Oh," was all I heard, a male voice… but it wasn't Alexander's. From the corner of my eye, there was a hand placed lightly on my shoulder, and then another one, rubbing my shoulders in a comforting gesture. "Oh, Violet," He said. I blinked a few times, thinking it an apparition. I twisted my body awkwardly over to see Nicholas standing over me like a dark angel, his eyes a disturbing reddish glow, like two lights, in the moonlight. His skin was lukewarm… or mine was just too cold. There was a flush to his skin which meant he fed off of a human as well. We were both rather guilty of something, but something inside of me leapt for joy just seeing him standing there, returning to our family and being here again. Despite all the hateful things he has said to me, he was trying to comfort me now.

"Nicholas…" I murmured, my voice sounding raw and twisted in different ways. "Nicholas… you've returned," my mouth curved into strange smile. "I… I thought you left me for good."

"I couldn't do that," he shook his head and knelt down to my level, his eyes meeting mine.

"Your… your eyes… they're so different. Like a newborn's." I felt like a newborn, dumbfounded and flustered.

"Yours are as well," He said, looking pointedly to the mirror. I rose from my spot on the ground and looked into the mirror, and his words were true. My eyes were as bright red as blood itself.

"It's from feeding off humans, enough blood is in your system that our eyes turn red," he explained calmly, "I thought you would know that by now."

"Then you've been contrary to everything we believed in, as well. You've been killing, haven't you?"

"There were more people outside of this house, waiting to kill. With torches, and stakes… what have you put yourselves into?" He asked with a sly smile.

"You… killed all of them? Oh, God… oh, God… we're doomed. What will people think now?" I combed through my hair nervously, grabbing his forearms, completely panicked. He, however, was calm and together.

"I will help you leave, Violet. You have to move before they get into anything else." I looked down to my feet, finally understanding, feeling like a little girl all over again. Nicholas had that type of effect on me, I suppose, always being noble.

"I suppose this is all we have left," I whispered and he grabbed my hand, and with wide eyes, I looked back up.

"It'll be okay. We have eternity, the world at our grasp. This one little town will do nothing."

"And will you be there, brother, for that eternity?" I asked, cocking my head to the side, swinging out arms.

"Of course," He said, nodding his head with assurance, "Of course I will." I smiled bleakly, one side higher than the other. He outstretched his arms out, waiting for my arms to come into his, and all the willingly I threw myself into him, burying my face into his chest. All the while I felt slightly whole, though I had no idea if Nicholas was lying or not. His eyes were red before, and I'm not sure if I'm the only one to see that. He was betraying our coven and its honor, but I could not say anything because I already have done my own share of discrimination.

Alexander and Victoria found us there, linking together in brother and sister-type way, and I knew I shouldn't push it farther than that, no matter how desperate I really truly was, and still am.

"Oh, Nicholas, you have came back!" Was the first thing Victoria shouted, not bothering to look at the corpse at my feet. Alexander came in silently behind his mate, hands in pockets, always brooding, and he had a small smile as well, more for me than for Nicholas. He outstretched his hand, waiting for Nicholas to shake it, and of course he did, still holding onto my shoulders. He kissed my cheek just like he used to.

Alexander seemed to notice the dead thing at my side. "What is this?" He asks, kicking the corpse over as if it was nothing.

"I had to, he invaded our home… there were others with torches and Nicholas took care of them… we could have been burnt down, it was only in my self-defense… I hated doing it…" I moaned, looking back down as Alexander grabbed my shoulder and looked at me with his hard eyes.

"It was a mistake, you're not usually exposed to these types of things. It's my fault, really, not training you to begin with." He said, emotionless.

"Please forgive me…" I murmured under my breath, not being able to stand his truthful and powerful gaze, and looked over to Victoria who didn't exactly care, just extremely happy to have Nicholas back.

"I forgive you, daughter, we just need to move out instantaneously is all," he said in a low, dangerous tone. "Nicholas, my son, I assume you will be staying with us." It didn't sound like a question, only a demand. I think he was technically trying to say that _you killed all those people, now you must learn and pay this family back for ruining it even more._ I would have said that, at least.

"That is correct," Nicholas answered anyway, probably already knowing there's no way out of this, anyway.

"We shall lock up this house and flee tonight." Alexander said with such finality that it made me shiver with something like energy or fear… I'm not sure exactly how I felt about it. I still don't know to this day. I've been trying to teach myself to move on, even now, and it never has happened. The only thing I can do now is shut my eyes and wait.


End file.
